I don’t Offer Things to Neptune – I’m Just a Klutz

I don’t even believe in Neptune.  He doesn’t get offerings of beer, wine, rum, soda, sparkling water (whatever) from me.  But I would love to believe that some ultimate good comes from my inadvertent losses over the side.  Regardless, these aren’t voluntary offerings by any means.

The scene of my most recent donation to the cause of myopic fish (or crabs, or barnacles).  Hope they needed bifocals.

I sincerely hope that some near-sighted fish is benefitting from my glasses that dropped into the creek just off the port bow of Cay of Sea.  A random bump from my wrist sent them casually into the water on the second highest tide of the year.  Although I extended the handle of my garden rake by six feet, I still couldn’t get a good angle for combing the bottom with it, due to the fact that the rake didn’t touch bottom until the handle’s end was within 6 inches of the water.  I suspended salvage operations until the water recedes a couple of feet.

No, not long enough.

Over the years, I’ve consoled myself with the idea that marine life needed certain tools and stainless hardware to improve their quality of life and complete projects that were perhaps never finished. Accordingly I have accidentally provided several pairs of pliers, numerous screw drivers (flat AND phillips), wrenches, sockets, etc.  Due to basic incompatibility of electricity and sea water, I’ve managed to resist the temptation to provide power tools of any sort, but if I had battery-operated tools on hand, I might have made an involuntary donation.

I routinely buy twice as many stainless fasteners as needed, and simply throw the extras overboard as soon as I get to the pier.  I’m not voluntarily providing building materials (although it spares the trouble and embarrassment of my aquatic neighbors being seen scavenging for hardware as though they couldn’t afford stainless).  Rather, I’m simply concerned with short-circuiting the inevitable by streamlining the process of inadvertent loss.  However, if I manage to preserve the dignity of pier-side aquatic entities with an accidental-on-purpose donation (scavenging is so degrading) then all the better.

Still, I have hopes that no fish was found who needed my prescriptive correction, because I still hope to recover those glasses.  Meanwhile, I’m glad I have a back-up pair.

I know I’ve seen a photo of Charlie the Tuna wearing a pair of my prescription sunglasses

  1. Jan Sopoci said:

    Re: Your glasses…have you considered investing in a “croaker”? (Think that’s what its called). Fabric tube that slips over the ends of the ear pieces, so glasses can hang around the neck, sort of like a librarian’s chain. As soon as I started sailing on a regular basis, it was probably my first purchase, LOL.

    • Yeah, I’ve got a couple of sets. Can never remember to put them on when I go to the boat. I don’t like them when I’m not on the boat. Good suggestion though.

      Finally got habitual about putting my cell phone in a plastic baggy when using my dinghy – dinghies are tricky little boats to board and exit, and cell phones are typically water-intolerant.

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